those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
