what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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