It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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