Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
He passed out mid-signature
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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