ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I can't put those talents on a resume
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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