we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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