Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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