Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
