need another drink. this is the easiest way
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
