i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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