sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
