She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
tell me about the fingering
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
