I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
