I should be sponsored by Trojan
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
