also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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