PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
