woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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