Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
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Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
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At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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