I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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