It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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