Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
