I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
The beer is more important than you right now.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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