Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
