My hair reeks of homosexuality.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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