Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
