is your mom at the bar?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize