honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
