ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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