Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
