dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Mom said you looked used
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
