Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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