Grow some girl-balls and come out already
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
