this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
