yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
