When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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