false alarm. still invincible.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
