she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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