I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She even gives head with a lisp.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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