I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
