Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
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