apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize