And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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