it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
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You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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