it wasn't lemon gatorade
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
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After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
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Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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