I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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