the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
