I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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