420 ftw
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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