The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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