my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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