Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
