I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Text me some of your sweat
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize