i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize