Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
