For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
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Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
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Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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