You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
