Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize