So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
the liver wants what the liver wants
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
