too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
