apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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