I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
