Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
