I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
